Parenting: Challenges & Promises

Parenting can be a difficult and challenging venture, but at the same time can be the most rewarding and fulfilling thing we ever do.

Biblical perspective of children:

Children should be viewed from God's perspective children are a heritage, an inheritance - they are a reward- they are a blessing- not a burden Psalm 127:3

Children are a stewardship entrusted to parents- they are your greatest legacy

Biblical perspective of parents:

1. Teaching the truth of God's word:  Deut 6:7-9

Along with loving God and being a godly example by committing ourselves to His commands, we need to heed the command of Deut 6:7-9 regarding teaching our children to do the same. This passage emphasizes the ongoing nature of such instruction. It should be done at all times—at home, on the road, at night, and in the morning. Biblical truth should be the foundation of our homes. By following the principles of these commands, we teach our children that worshiping God should be constant, not reserved for Sunday mornings or nightly prayers

2. Bringing  the children up in the nurturance and admonition of the Lord Eph 6:4

As parents we need to nourish our children upto maturity and cultivate within them the things that are of God by instructing, training, directing and correcting them. Albert Barnes wrote, "If a man does not teach his children truth, others will teach them error."

In Ephesians 6:4 we learn that Christian parents have a primary responsibility to bring up their children in the training and instruction of the Lord. Negatively, Paul says in particular to fathers, "do not exasperate your children." Positively, he says, "instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Premise for Christian parenting:

1. Knowing God and having a personal relationship with God is crucial to our relationship with our children. Only when we have a personal relationship with God do we come under the umbrella of God's covenant.

2. Trust in the covenant keeping character of God (Genesis 15)
Abram's trial of faith is often the trial of God-fearing parents. We plead God's promises over our children, but all we see are vultures. So much wages war against God's covenant and His promises. They are covenant children, but so much is against them. Their own hearts, the world, Satan, and sometimes even their own friends or our own poor examples as parents are like birds of prey swooping down on them to devour them. Everything they hear in the world is basically contrary to the Bible. How do we handle it when all we see are vultures and it doesn't seem as if God will ever come—when nothing divine seems to be happening in their hearts and lives?
We must stand our ground, as Abram did; holding fast to the word of promise, obeying the word of command, looking to the God of the covenant because it is only through Him that we receive favor and it has nothing to do with our part and worthiness of parents.

3. God is our perfect parent. Jesus came to re-parent us by teaching us how to imitate our Heavenly father. We need to model and reflect the unconditional love of God to your children.
4. Marriage relationship - The greatest overall influence that you are going to have in parenting will not come while you are in your roles of mother and father but rather while you are in your roles as a wife and husband.

Speaking blessings in Bible times
Early in the Bible, the power of God's people to speak blessing upon one another is clearly shown. Blessings are irrevocable

Noah blesses Shem and Japheth  Gen 9:26-27
God blesses Abraham  Gen  12:3; 18:18; 22:16-18
Isaac blesses his sons Gen 27
Jacob blesses each son by name
Jewish tradition- laying on of hands by the father every Sabbath

Why should I speak the promises of God over my children?
The word of God is just not words they are God's words. The word of God is inspired so you can trust it to be accurate to accomplish what it was sent for.  2 Timothy 3:17
As parents we have the power to speak life or death to our children. Prov 18:21
There will be a manifestation of the Word.  Isaiah 55:11

Areas in your child's life to nurture and speak God's promises

1. For their salvation: In our competitive world, the pressure is to keep praying and focusing that our children be blessed  with healthy bodies, good grades, outstanding character, a wealth of friends, good scholarship into a good career- but often we miss that a relationship with Christ is more important than anything else- and the rest count for nothing.

Speaking God's promises for our child's salvation is asking God to give them the only gift that can last forever
1 Timothy 2:3, 4
Ezekiel 11: 19
2 Timothy 2:10

Parenting responsibility is to reflect God's love. Teaching children about God - is our responsibility. Salvation is not automatic but requires us as parents to be a partner with God.

We can be confident that we are praying in accordance to God's will when we pray for our children's salvation- 2 Peter 3:9 " not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance."

CHALLENGE: Even if your children are presently walking in darkness and refusing to acknowledge the truth you embrace, don't give in to discouragement.
Jeremiah 31:16-17
Isaiah 43:5-7

2. For the love of God's word
Speaking God's promises for our children to know, love and use God's word is one of the most effective ways to pray for their spiritual protection. Our children will need to see God's word for what it is: a guiding light that illuminates the road to God's blessings
Psalm 119:11
Psalm 19:1
Our greatest example is Jesus when he was tempted by Satan- he doesn't use his intellectual ability, physical strength or his willpower to fight the devil- but all three times he uses God's word and says It is written (3). Our prayer need to be that their hearts will be good soil that will hear the word, retain it and persevere to produce a crop of godly character  and that the worries, riches or pleasures of life will not choke the word and make it unfruitful in their lives

CHALLENGE: for a parent to be able to use every opportunity to use as interactions to make it a teachable moment. Ps 119:105- using the word of God to direct them

3.  For wisdom and discernment:
Praying for wisdom for us as parents to raise our children- worldly wisdom is deceptive
James 1:5

Speaking God's promises over our children to gain wisdom- We can never be sure they will make the right decisions unless they have the gift of wisdom and revelation and discernment and also a ear tuned to hear and obey God's voice. The only way to get this is to seek God for them
Isaiah 30:21
Prov 9:10
Prov 4:5-7

When we ask God to give our children wisdom and discernment we aren't asking that they make right choices but we are setting them up for an intimacy with Christ- in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge Col 2:3

Few of the treasures that wisdom does for our kids are:

• Provides direction and purpose in life Prov 3:5-6
• Lead to happiness, true riches and a long life Prov 3:13-17
• Insight into the character of others and protection from evil Prov 7:4-5
• The wisdom they use will bring joy to you as parents Prov 10:1
• It even brightens their face and appearance Ecc 8:1

4. For their character as they view others: Speaking God's promises over our children that they be clothed with compassion, humility, gentleness and patience Col 3:12

When we pray for our kids' lives to be marked with Christ like compassion, it opens the door for God to work on their attitudes as well as their actions 1 John 3:18

We can pray that our children will walk with the King and be a blessing even if it means putting their needs or desires on hold. We can pray that they will see Jesus reflected in their friends, teachers and family.

Ezekiel 11:19 We can pray that they are not hard hearted but that they will look at the world through heavens eyes.
Eph 4:32

For their character as they view themselves: self control, diligence and their self discipline
Some children are born with tendencies towards self discipline or self control and some are not. Children need to learn that in order to become satisfied, happy and productive adults they need to learn to develop these character traits. Children without self control are likened to a city with broken walls- Proverbs 25:28

There is a storehouse of blessings for those who are self controlled
Bring s wealth- Prov 10:4
Harvest of righteousness and peace Heb 12 :11

Titus 2: 6-8
1 Peter 5: 8-9
1 peter 1:13

CHALLENGES: Rebellion, difficulty to submit to authority, immediate gratification

5. For their spiritual protection/ fighting for the hearts of your children: Asking God to protect our children from physical harm- something that is visible- is a prayer that it is often prayed for by us as parent, but more potent are the dangers that are in the spiritual realm.

When you speak God's promises pray for your child's spiritual protection with faith and assurance, you can be sure to know that Jesus is greater than any of the dark forces that inhabit the world (I John 4:4)

It is true that we are in a constant battle with Satan and his demons and we are called to wage war against the evil one. The best way to get dressed for the battles is to clothe them with the armor of God Eph 6:10-18.

Psalm 34:7
Matt 6:13
James 4: 7-8
Psalm 141: 9-10

6. For their relationships:

Relationship with you as a parent: A child's view of parental authority becomes the cornerstone of his outlook on school authority, teachers, employers, the law and others he eventually will work with. More importantly, if the child learns to love, trust and obey parents he will have an easier time reaching this level of intimacy with God.
Eph 6:1-3
Prov 1:8; 29:3
Prov 6:20-23
Malachi 4:6

Children will undoubtedly be influenced by their peers so we need to seek God to surround them with kids whose lives are marked with integrity, purity and a Christian faith.
We must speak that our kids will choose their companions wisely recognizing that bad company corrupts good character 1 Cor 15:33
Speak that they have friends who long after righteousness 2 Tim 2:22

Need to speak that our children will also be a positive influence to his friends for His kingdom
Rom 1:16- speak God's promise that they will never be ashamed of the Gospel but would see the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.

Verses to use
Prov 12:26
Psalm 1:1

Challenge: Guidance for children kids in bad company

7. For their life's purpose: Speak into their future with hope and confidence knowing that God loves them and has a specific purpose in their lives.
Jeremiah 29:11-13
I Thess 1:11-12
Psalm 138:8
Prov 19:11

HOPE FOR THE CHILDLESS:
Joshua 1:9. Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you..."

1 John 5:14-15: And this is our confidence, that if we pray according to His will, He will hear us, and give us what we ask for, because our desires are in agreement with His thoughts for us.

Psalm 113:9 He grants the barren woman a home, Like a joyful mother of children.

Conclusion:
Remember that it is none of our doing but only his presence and because he is a covenant keeping God that our children will be taken care of.  The good news is that God is not bound by our human failings. No matter how many parenting mistakes we make His grace is more than sufficient to cover it all up. No matter how many things we do right in terms of pointing our kids to Christ we cannot make them love the Lord.  But he stays true to his promises and will keep his covenant with us and our children. The sooner we realize that it is not about what we do but about what God does, the sooner we will stop focusing on ourselves and our weakness and begin focusing on God and His power.
This understanding of His presence and His covenant free us from parenting out of fear and start parenting out of faith.  2 Timothy 1:7

All your children will be taught of the Lord and have great peace. Isaiah 54:13