Basic Counseling & Crisis Response – Knowing how to support someone in distress, and when to refer

Ministry often places us on the front lines of human suffering. Whether serving as greeters, small group leaders, children's workers, or administrative staff, we encounter people in distress, sometimes in unexpected moments during routine church activities. (Galatians 6:2) calls us to "carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." This biblical mandate doesn't require us to be professional counselors, but it does call us to be compassionate, present, and equipped with basic skills to offer initial support when someone is struggling. The concept of Psychological First Aid provides a helpful framework for this first-line emotional support—offering safety, stability, and hope without attempting to provide professional therapy. Just as physical first aid stabilizes someone until medical professionals arrive, emotional first aid helps stabilize someone in crisis until they can receive appropriate ongoing care. This article equips church staff and volunteers with foundational skills to recognize distress, respond with empathy, provide practical support, and discern when professional referral is necessary. Remember: it's not always about fixing the situation but it's about being present.

Recognizing Signs of Emotional Distress

Learning to notice when someone is struggling is the first step in providing support. Emotional distress manifests in various ways: someone who is normally engaged may become withdrawn and avoid eye contact; a regular participant might arrive late, leave early, or appear physically different—pale, exhausted, or unusually disheveled. During worship or teaching, you might notice someone unable to focus, staring blankly, or suddenly leaving the room. These behavioral changes signal that something may be wrong and warrant a gentle check-in.

By training ourselves to notice these indicators with compassion rather than judgment, we position ourselves to offer timely support.

Providing Psychological First Aid: Being Present

When you encounter someone in distress, your primary goal is not to solve their problems but to provide a stabilizing, caring presence. Psychological First Aid focuses on helping people feel seen and valued, creating safety, restoring a sense of control, and fostering hope. Your calm, compassionate presence can be profoundly stabilizing for someone who feels overwhelmed. As (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) reminds us, God "comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."

Being present in this way benefits both the person in distress and you as a helper. For the struggling individual, your attention communicates that they matter, that they're not alone, and that there is hope beyond their current pain. For you, this ministry develops compassion, spiritual maturity, and awareness of others' needs. However, it's important to recognize that you may feel the emotional weight of their situation—this is normal and underscores why helpers must also care for themselves through prayer, debriefing with leadership, and maintaining healthy boundaries.

The Four Steps of Initial Support

Step 1- Be Attentive and Approach with Care: Notice the signs of distress and gently approach the person in a non-threatening way. You might say, "I noticed you seemed a bit quiet during service. I just wanted to check in, is everything alright?" Your tone should convey genuine concern without prying. This initial contact assesses whether the person is open to talking and gives them permission to share or decline.

Step 2- Listen Without Judgment: If they choose to open up, practice active listening by giving them your full attention, maintaining appropriate eye contact, and resisting the urge to immediately fix or minimize their problem. Reflect back what you hear: "It sounds like you've been carrying this for a while. That must feel heavy." Don't rush to offer solutions or share similar experiences—instead, create space for them to express their feelings. (James 1:19) instructs us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." Sometimes the most healing thing we can offer is the gift of being truly heard.

Step 3- Respect Boundaries and Pac: Not everyone in distress is ready to talk, and that's okay. If someone seems hesitant, give them permission to wait: "That's okay—you don't have to talk about it now. Just know I'm here if you'd like to share." Being available without pressure demonstrates respect and safety. Some people need time to process before they can articulate their struggles. Your patient availability communicates that they're worth waiting for and that support will still be there when they're ready.

Step 4- Know Your Limits and When to Refer: As a non-professional helper, it's crucial to recognize when someone needs more than you can provide. You might say, "I care about what you're going through, and I think it would help to talk to someone who can give more support." Knowing when to refer isn't a failure—it's wise stewardship of the person's wellbeing and honest acknowledgment of your role. We'll address specific referral indicators in a later section.

What You Are NOT Doing

It's important to understand the boundaries of your role as a first responder. You are not offering professional counseling or therapy, you're providing immediate emotional support and connection. You are not eliciting detailed discussions of traumatic events, asking the person to analyze what happened to them, or pressing for specifics about their situation. Avoid saying things like "Tell me exactly what happened" or "Why do you think you feel this way?" These approaches can retraumatize someone or create expectations you're not equipped to fulfill.

Similarly, don't pressure someone to share their feelings if they're not ready. Statements like "You'll feel better if you just talk about it" or "You need to get this off your chest" can feel coercive. Instead, offer presence and let them guide what they share. Your role is to stabilize, not to investigate or therapeutically process their experience—that's work for trained professionals in appropriate settings.

Offering Practical and Spiritual Support

Beyond emotional presence, you can offer tangible acts of care that demonstrate Christ's love in practical ways. Ask, "Would you like me to pray with you before you go?" Prayer connects the person to God's comfort and reminds them they're not alone in their struggle. You might also say, "Can I ask someone from the care team to check in on you this week?" or "Would it help if I connected you with our pastor?" These offers create ongoing support structures rather than leaving someone to face their crisis in isolation.

Practical support might include staying connected through a follow-up text or call, arranging for meals if they're in crisis, helping them contact professional resources, or simply sitting with them until they feel stable enough to leave. (Acts 20:35) reminds us of Jesus's words: "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Small acts of practical care like offering water, finding a quiet space, helping them call a family member, can make an enormous difference in someone's moment of distress.

Establishing Communication Channels for Crisis Response

Churches should establish clear communication protocols for staff and volunteers to report and respond to crisis situations. Ministry teams need designated channels, whether a pastoral care group chat, a crisis response email, to quickly notify leadership when someone needs immediate support or professional intervention. These systems ensure that crises don't fall through the cracks and that appropriate people are alerted to provide follow-up care.

Team leaders must communicate clearly about these protocols during volunteer training and ensure everyone knows how to access them. For instance, if a children's ministry volunteer encounters a child disclosing abuse, they need to know immediately whom to contact, likely both the children's pastor and senior leadership. If someone expresses suicidal thoughts to a greeter, that greeter should know the exact process for getting the person to safety and alerting pastoral staff. Regular communication through these established channels also allows ministry leaders to track patterns, coordinate care, and ensure no one providing support feels isolated or overwhelmed. Leaders should check in regularly with volunteers who encounter distressing situations, offering debriefing, prayer support, and encouragement. Clear, responsive communication structures protect both those in crisis and those who serve them.

At APC, congregation, staff and volunteers have access to APC's Chrysalis Counselling. Chrysalis Counseling is a team of professionally trained and experienced Christian counselors.

Responding to Specific Crisis Situations

Panic Attacks: If someone experiences a panic attack, characterized by rapid breathing, chest tightness, trembling, or feeling of losing control, stay close and calmly guide them to a quiet place away from crowds. Ask simple questions like "Can you hear me?" to ground them in the present. Reassure them of their safety: "You're safe. This will pass." Help them focus on something tangible like counting breaths, noticing five things they can see, or holding a cold water bottle. Wait with them until they've regulated and can function normally again, then refer them to follow-up care and possibly their doctor, as panic attacks can indicate underlying anxiety disorders requiring professional treatment.

Risk of Suicide: If someone expresses thoughts of suicide, take it seriously and ask directly: "Are you thinking about hurting yourself?" Direct questions don't plant ideas but rather show you're willing to discuss this painful topic. Determine if they have a plan, specific plans indicate higher risk. Keep them safe by staying with them, removing access to means of self-harm if possible, and immediately connecting them with professional help, call a pastor, crisis hotline, or emergency services if danger is imminent. Recommend ongoing professional help and stay in touch to show continued care.

Common Situations Requiring Support: Church staff and volunteers regularly encounter various crisis situations: grief and loss following a death, personal or financial crisis such as job loss or eviction, relationship breakdowns including divorce or family conflict, mental or emotional overwhelm from chronic stress, domestic conflict or abuse, and exposure to trauma through accidents or violence. Each situation requires compassionate presence, basic emotional support, and often professional referral. Familiarize yourself with community resources like counselors, financial advisors, legal aid, domestic violence shelters, so you can quickly connect people with appropriate help.

When to Refer for Professional Help

Recognizing when someone needs professional intervention is critical. Refer when you observe ongoing distress over life circumstances that doesn't improve with time and support, persistent poor sleep or confusion, significant decline in daily functioning at work or home, expressions of losing control or feeling overwhelmed beyond their capacity to cope, any mention of self-harm or suicide, abuse of alcohol or drugs as coping mechanisms, or signs of mental health conditions such as severe depression, anxiety, psychosis, or bipolar disorder. (Matthew 9:12) records Jesus saying, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick." Just as we wouldn't hesitate to send someone with chest pain to the emergency room, we shouldn't hesitate to refer someone in an emotional crisis to professional care.

When making a referral, do so with care and without shame. Explain that seeking professional help is a sign of wisdom and strength, not weakness. Offer to help them find resources, many churches maintain lists of Christian counselors or partner with counseling centers. At APC, access to our own Counselling services, Chrysalis Counseling, has been a great blessing to many individuals and families. Follow up to ensure they've connected with help. Continue offering spiritual support and friendship alongside their professional treatment, as therapy and community care work together for healing and wholeness.

Caring for Yourself as a Helper

Bearing others' burdens takes an emotional toll. If you regularly provide crisis support, you must intentionally care for your own spiritual, emotional, and physical health. Debrief difficult situations with your ministry leader or a trusted mentor. Maintain healthy boundaries by recognizing you cannot be available 24/7 and that others can share the load. Practice regular spiritual disciplines of prayer, Scripture reading, worship, and rest. Seek your own counseling or spiritual direction when needed. (Mark 6:31) records Jesus inviting His disciples: "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." If Jesus prioritized rest for His disciples after intense ministry, we must do the same.

Remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup. By stewarding your own wellbeing, you ensure you'll have reserves of compassion, wisdom, and strength to continue serving those God brings across your path. Self-care isn't selfish, it's essential stewardship of the life and calling God has given you.

Conclusion

Basic counseling and crisis response skills empower every church volunteer and staff member to embody Christ's compassion when encountering people in distress. We don't need professional credentials to offer presence, listen without judgment, provide practical care, and connect people with appropriate resources. As we grow in these skills, we fulfill the call of (1 Thessalonians 5:14): "Encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone." May we be faithful first responders who point people toward hope, healing, and the ultimate Comforter who binds up the brokenhearted and sets captives free.