The Calling & Ministry of A Husband & Father

Introduction:

During the month of February, we will be doing a series of messages on the Family addressing the roles of husband/father, wife/mother and parenting. We will then wrap this up with a BIG SUNDAY (Feb 23) at all locations (except APC-South) on the theme "Rediscovering Home". The BIG SUNDAY is designed to be a Sunday where you can invite your unsaved family/friends to church so that they can receive ministry on a topic that would be of interest to them. So please start planning on who you can invite for this upcoming BIG SUNDAY on "Rediscovering Home".

This morning we will speak on the topic: The Calling And Ministry of A Husband And Father

FACTS/STATISTICS

We do not have statistical data on the prevalence and impact of Fatherlessness for India, but we are quoting data from the United States, as representative data. While there will be some dissimilarities between the United States and India, this data will help us get a sense of the importance and impact of the role of the Father. In India, it is quite possible that even though Fathers may be missing, close knit families, extended families are able to make a difference and help nurture children, which could be a big difference between the US and India.

According to 2011 U.S. Census Bureau data, over 24 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 (33%) children in America. Nearly 2 in 3 (64%) African American children live in father-absent homes. One in three (34%) Hispanic children, and 1 in 4 (25%) white children live in father-absent homes. In 1960, only 11% of children lived in father-absent homes.

Children who live absent from their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.

[Source: http://www.fatherhood.org/media/fatherhood-statistics (accessed 30Jan 2014)]

Date of this statistical data not given, but this provides a general idea:

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
• 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
• 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)

Father Factor in Education -

• Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.
• Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.
• Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
• Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.
• Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.

[Source: http://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/ accessed 30 Jan 2014]

Not Very Different In Church

Josh McDowell has been trying to find out what dads are doing in Christian families, and the news isn't good. In his book The Dad Difference, McDowell reveals that there seems to be a parenting gap. These statistics are from McDowell's book: The average teen in our churches spends only 2 minutes a day in meaningful dialogue with his dad. 25% of these teens say they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father-a talk centered on the teens' interests. - Josh McDowell, The Dad Difference, 1990.

Where Are The Fathers?

Perhaps in India, the issue may not be with as much as fathers absconding the home, as it would be with fathers who are present, but not involved in the lives of their children.

The Calling And Ministry Of A Husband And A Father

Marriage was designed by God, so also the family.

Everything God designed, was intended to be an expression of who He is.

Marriage and family is designed by God for us to experience and express who God is - His love, joy, mercy, kindness, etc.

“Marriage may be the closest thing to Heaven or Hell any of us will know on this earth.” - Edwin Louis Cole

Marriage and fatherhood is a calling and a ministry. God instituted it and then He calls us into it. We respond by choosing to step into marriage and subsequently into fatherhood. We then partner with Him, to experience and express what He intended for us in marriage and in fatherhood.

A calling is a response to an invitation and is our willingness to accept not only the role but also carry out the responsibility that it entails.

Ministry is an opportunity to serve and represent who God is. We minister to our spouse and children.

A husband and father is called by God to love, provide, care, guide, nurture and protect his family, as an expression of God, who is the ultimate Husband and Father.

#1 LOVE

Love - love unconditionally.

Ephesians 5:25,28,29
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

“The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” - Edwin Louis Cole

Love your children.
Love disciplines.

Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Love disciplines, and we do so in a manner that does not push the child away into anger, resentment or put them into discouragement.

#2, PROVIDE

Provide - work to take care of your family.

1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

#3, CARE

Care - when your wife or children are hurting, wounded, weak, discouraged, etc. speak life, encouragement, hope and faith into them.

Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

Do you care enough to help with household work?
Do you do the dishes when the maid does not show-up?
Do you help with the laundry or cooking or do you sit around expecting your wife to do it all?
This is especially important when both the husband and wife are working.
Do you care enough to listen to your son/daughter share their heart or tell you what they want to talk about?

#4, GUIDE

Guide - in the ways of God, impart wisdom to make right choices, etc.

Make decisions for your family that will help them pursue God's purpose.

Train your children

 
Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
We are to train and encourage our children so that we can bring them up in the Lord.
“A father's responsibility is not to make the child's decisions, but to let the child watch him make his.” - Edwin Louis Cole

#5, NURTURE

Nurture - mold, raise up, equip, train, develop their potential
Get involved in their lives.
Encourage your wife to pursue God's call on her life.
Encourage your children to discover God's gifts and calling in them and to pursue God's call on their lives.
What is important to them must become important to you.

#6, PROTECT

Protect - from wrong, negative influences. This will include being strict about certain things and establishing boundaries.

#7, WITH GOD

We as men, realize that we cannot do these unless we ourselves as individuals are submitted to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and walk a life yielded to Him.

“To the degree that you become a good son to God, you become a good father to your children.” - Dr. Edwin Louis Cole

There are no perfect fathers, other than God Himself who is the Perfect Father.

All of us have failed. Some have tried and failed. Some of us have not even tried.

We need God's empowering and training in our lives to be the kind of husband and father He has called us to be.

There is a proper order in God's calling and ministry.

• We are first of all called by God to be His own and to minister to Him.
• Second in order is our calling and ministry as husband and father to minister to our wife and children.
• Then follows are calling and ministry to the Church and the world.

When order is broken, it brings chaos and confusion.

Often the simple solution to remove chaos and confusion is to restore order.

Malachi 4:5,6
5 Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet Before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD.
6 And he will turn The hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.

For the Fatherless

God’s Promises to the Fatherless

 
2 Corinthians 6:18
18“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

Psalm 27:10
10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.

Psalm 68:5
5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.
 
We would encourage men to remember those who do not have fathers, and do what we can to support, and encourage these children.
 
What Will Your Son / Daughter Remember You For?
 
Proverbs 17:6 Children's children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father.
 
If your son or daughter was to state in one sentence what you meant to them, or what you taught them, what would it be?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS/PERSONAL ASSESSMENT

How good A Father Do You Perceive Yourself To Be?
The Unites States Department of Vital Statistics published a report titled: "Fathers’ Involvement With Their Children: United States, 2006–2010" -National Health Statistics Reports, Number 71, December 20, 2013
 
This report measures fathers’ involvement with their children. Father involvement is measured by how often a man participated in a set of activities in the last 4 weeks with children who were living with him and with children who were living apart from him
 
Here were some of the questions they asked fathers (across two age groups, under age 5, and another group 5–18 years). The questions varied a little, but essentially, here is the list of questions. Will be useful for us to ask ourselves:

In the last 4 weeks:

Question	Rating
	Not at all	Once a week or less	Several times a week	Every day
how often they played with their children
how often they read to their children
how often they ate meals with their children
how often they took their children to or from activities
talked with their children about things that happened during the day
checked that the children had completed their homework

What if we added a few more questions, In the last 4 weeks:

Question	Rating
	Not at all	Once a week or less	Several times a week	Every day
how often have you prayed together with your children
how often have you spoken about the Lord and His Word
how often have you listened to your children share their heart
how often have you spoken encouragement into their lives
How often have you discussed about their gifts/strengths and what they should be doing in life

 
 
Am sure we can develop a similar chart for self-evaluation on "How good A Husband Do You Perceive Yourself To Be?"
 
Altar Call
Invitation for husbands and fathers to stand up and respond to God's call and ministry.
 
A husband and father is called by God to love, provide, care, guide, nurture and protect his family, as an expression of God, who is the ultimate Husband and Father.