Can any other success compensate for failure in the home? We look at the present state of things in our city and nation, and discover timeless truths that will help us recapture God's original design for marriage and family. Get ready to be changed!
May this sermon minister to you and enrich your walk of faith in Jesus Christ. We welcome you to make use of the free sermons, Christian books, and daily devotionals available on this website.
May this sermon minister to you and enrich your walk of faith in Jesus Christ. We welcome you to make use of the free sermons, Christian books, and daily devotionals available on this website.
Complete Sermon Video:
{ccconsent}{/ccconsent}
The disintegration of the institution of marriage
General Facts About Divorce Trends in India:
Home under threat
Regardless of the causes, the home - marriage and family - are under threat.
Marriage and family are central to any society. If these breakdown, there will be a breakdown eventually of the moral fiber of society.
The trauma and pain of strife and divorce
While all marriages and home will encounter challenges in the form of misunderstandings and temporary quarrels - continued strife in the home, separation and divorce, cause a lot of emotional trauma and pain for all involved.
e.g. A crumpled 1000 Rs note, can still be ironed out and its value remains intact. But if the 1000 Rs. note is torn apart, it loses its value. You will have to take it to the Bank to see if they would be willing to replace it.
The cause for these problems
What is the cause for strife in the home, and for the breakdown of marriage and family?
While many external factors can be listed, at the root of it - the wickedness of man's heart.
The problem is deep within - in the very heart of man.
Matthew 15:18,19
18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.
19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.
Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?
Think about this research report, released back in 1994:
Yet when psychologists Cliff Notarius of Catholic University and Howard Markman of the University of Denver studied newlyweds over the first decade of marriage, they found a very subtle but telling difference at the beginning of the relationships. Among couples who would ultimately stay together, 5 out of every 100 comments made about each other were putdowns. Among couples who would later split, 10 of every 100 comments were insults. That gap magnified over the following decade, until couples heading downhill were flinging five times as many cruel and invalidating comments at each other as happy couples. "Hostile putdowns act as cancerous cells that, if unchecked, erode the relationship over time," says Notarius, who with Markman co-authored the new book We Can Work It Out. "In the end, relentless unremitting negativity takes control and the couple can't get through a week without major blowups."
[Source: U.S. News & World Report, February 21, 1994, p. 67]
There is also the fact that there is demonic assault against the home. The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy marriages, families and homes.
What's the cure?
#1, We need transformation of the heart,
#2, We need to be released from personal bondages, and
#3, We need empowering to love, forgive, and keep loving
We cannot do this on our own.
Human love is fragile.
It's not enough to trim the leaves and branches, because these will grow again. To get of rid of a tree we have to deal with the root. Similarly - we need transformation on the inside. All permanent change comes from within.
Understanding timeless truths concerning marriage and family
Three important Biblical truths
#1, marriage was designed by God and hence is a sacred institution
It was God who said:
Genesis 2:18
And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."
It was God Himself who performed the first wedding:
Genesis 2:21-24
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.
22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man."
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
It is God who stands as a witness to the marriage covenant. He looks for godly children. He declares that He hates divorce:
Malachi 2:14-16
14 Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant.
15 But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
16 "For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence," Says the LORD of hosts. Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously."
Breaching God's institution dishonors God:
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
#2, marriage is intended to mirror Christ's love
Ephesians 5:22-25
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
#3, the home is to be a place of quietness, confidence and rejoicing
Isaiah 32:18 My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation, In secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places,
Psalm 118:15 The voice of rejoicing and salvation Is in the tents of the righteous; The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
Proverbs 3:33 The curse of the LORD is on the house of the wicked, But He blesses the home of the just.
Proverbs 12:7 The wicked are overthrown and are no more, But the house of the righteous will stand.
Becoming brand new, receiving freedom and the power to love
We cannot enjoy and experience God's best, by trying on our own.
Our own efforts will not suffice.
We need to come to the "author and finisher" of marriage and family to receive His work in our lives as individuals:
#1, We need transformation of the heart,
He promises:
Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
What exists today between your hearts - the heart of you and your spouse: a WALL or a BRIDGE.
#2, We need to be released from personal bondages, and
The Lord Jesus came to deal with the root of our personal bondages:
Matthew 3:10 And even now the ax is laid to the root of the trees.
John 8:36 Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.
#3, We need empowering to love, forgive, and keep loving
He sends His Holy Spirit into us to release godly virtues and empower us:
Galatians 5:22,23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
The God who changes us will empower us to live and experience what He designed for marriage and family.
2 Corinthians 5:17
“Can any other success compensate for failure in the home?”
This morning, if you feel you need help with your marriage, your home - lets us come to the initiator and Perfecter of marriage and family.
He has the power to make all things new.
General Facts About Divorce Trends in India:
- India still has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world, with about one in 1,000 marriages collapsing, according to recent studies.
- In a study of 1165 cases from four urban cities—Mumbai, Pune, Aurangabad and Nagpur — researchers found that most couples seeking divorce were educated, between 25 and 35 years of age, and childless.
- The maximum number of divorces is among call center employees, medical professionals and those in the technology sector.
- 85% called off their marriage within the first five years.
- Amicable separation within the first year of marriage has increased by 30 per cent since 2000.
- Contrary to what prevailed earlier, more women are initiating divorce proceedings.
- 60% divorce cases, according to one Allahabad-based family court lawyer, relate to trivial issues.
- November 2013: A Supreme Court bench headed by Justice K S Radhakrishnan stated that live-in relationships are “neither a crime nor a sin.”
- whether by the husband or wife is becoming more and more prevalent.
- Bangalore is the Divorce Capital of India with at least 25 divorce cases filed every day.
- While 0.1% Indian marriages end in divorce , in Bangalore 3% married couples seek separation from their partners.
- Divorce is most prevalent between the age of 20-30.
Home under threat
Regardless of the causes, the home - marriage and family - are under threat.
Marriage and family are central to any society. If these breakdown, there will be a breakdown eventually of the moral fiber of society.
The trauma and pain of strife and divorce
While all marriages and home will encounter challenges in the form of misunderstandings and temporary quarrels - continued strife in the home, separation and divorce, cause a lot of emotional trauma and pain for all involved.
e.g. A crumpled 1000 Rs note, can still be ironed out and its value remains intact. But if the 1000 Rs. note is torn apart, it loses its value. You will have to take it to the Bank to see if they would be willing to replace it.
The cause for these problems
What is the cause for strife in the home, and for the breakdown of marriage and family?
While many external factors can be listed, at the root of it - the wickedness of man's heart.
The problem is deep within - in the very heart of man.
Matthew 15:18,19
18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.
19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.
Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?
- selfishness - only looking at one's own interests, happiness, etc.
- lust - wanting to satisfy sexual passions outside of marriage
- dissatisfaction birthed either out of selfishness or lust
- personal addictions and bondages that destroy the home - alcohol, etc.
- anger, criticism, bitterness that results in violence, abuse
Think about this research report, released back in 1994:
Yet when psychologists Cliff Notarius of Catholic University and Howard Markman of the University of Denver studied newlyweds over the first decade of marriage, they found a very subtle but telling difference at the beginning of the relationships. Among couples who would ultimately stay together, 5 out of every 100 comments made about each other were putdowns. Among couples who would later split, 10 of every 100 comments were insults. That gap magnified over the following decade, until couples heading downhill were flinging five times as many cruel and invalidating comments at each other as happy couples. "Hostile putdowns act as cancerous cells that, if unchecked, erode the relationship over time," says Notarius, who with Markman co-authored the new book We Can Work It Out. "In the end, relentless unremitting negativity takes control and the couple can't get through a week without major blowups."
[Source: U.S. News & World Report, February 21, 1994, p. 67]
There is also the fact that there is demonic assault against the home. The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy marriages, families and homes.
What's the cure?
#1, We need transformation of the heart,
#2, We need to be released from personal bondages, and
#3, We need empowering to love, forgive, and keep loving
We cannot do this on our own.
Human love is fragile.
It's not enough to trim the leaves and branches, because these will grow again. To get of rid of a tree we have to deal with the root. Similarly - we need transformation on the inside. All permanent change comes from within.
Understanding timeless truths concerning marriage and family
Three important Biblical truths
#1, marriage was designed by God and hence is a sacred institution
It was God who said:
Genesis 2:18
And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."
It was God Himself who performed the first wedding:
Genesis 2:21-24
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.
22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man."
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
It is God who stands as a witness to the marriage covenant. He looks for godly children. He declares that He hates divorce:
Malachi 2:14-16
14 Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant.
15 But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
16 "For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence," Says the LORD of hosts. Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously."
Breaching God's institution dishonors God:
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
#2, marriage is intended to mirror Christ's love
Ephesians 5:22-25
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
#3, the home is to be a place of quietness, confidence and rejoicing
Isaiah 32:18 My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation, In secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places,
Psalm 118:15 The voice of rejoicing and salvation Is in the tents of the righteous; The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
Proverbs 3:33 The curse of the LORD is on the house of the wicked, But He blesses the home of the just.
Proverbs 12:7 The wicked are overthrown and are no more, But the house of the righteous will stand.
Becoming brand new, receiving freedom and the power to love
We cannot enjoy and experience God's best, by trying on our own.
Our own efforts will not suffice.
We need to come to the "author and finisher" of marriage and family to receive His work in our lives as individuals:
#1, We need transformation of the heart,
He promises:
Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
What exists today between your hearts - the heart of you and your spouse: a WALL or a BRIDGE.
- A WALL that prevents you from speaking, a wall that you cannot see across, a wall that isolates you, a wall that keeps you from sharing the feelings and longings of your heart.
- Or a BRIDGE of love, a bridge of tenderness, of warmth and affection, a bridge of understanding that frees you to share your innermost thoughts and dreams.
#2, We need to be released from personal bondages, and
The Lord Jesus came to deal with the root of our personal bondages:
Matthew 3:10 And even now the ax is laid to the root of the trees.
John 8:36 Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.
#3, We need empowering to love, forgive, and keep loving
He sends His Holy Spirit into us to release godly virtues and empower us:
Galatians 5:22,23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
The God who changes us will empower us to live and experience what He designed for marriage and family.
2 Corinthians 5:17
“Can any other success compensate for failure in the home?”
This morning, if you feel you need help with your marriage, your home - lets us come to the initiator and Perfecter of marriage and family.
He has the power to make all things new.
All Peoples Church in Bangalore is a Spirit-filled, Word-based, Bible-believing Christian fellowship of believers in Jesus Christ desiring more of His presence and supernatural power bringing transformation, healing, miracles, and deliverance. We preach the full Gospel, equip believers to live out our new life in Christ, welcome the Charismatic and Pentecostal expressions in the assembly of God and serve in strengthening unity across all Christian churches. All free resources, sermons, daily devotionals, and free Christian books are provided for the strengthening of all believers in the Body of Christ. For further equipping, please visit APC Bible College.
Subscribe
Subscribe to weekly sermon email from All Peoples Church,
announcements on free books being released and APC-Bible College updates.
You can unsubscribe any time.