Common conceptions of women today on marriage and motherhood are:

• Women don’t want to be controlled.
• They want to go out into the wild, explore and create opportunities for themselves.
• They don't want to be domesticated, for the one basic reason that they don't believe this is the end for them.
• Some women are ambitious and industrious and marriage is like a tie down
• It's a total waste of time, energy and money and the whole concept of monogamy and staying faithful is very hard for a lot of people, especially our generation
• Children are a demand on time, attention and resource.
• Womanhood and motherhood are not one and the same. It should be defined according to what brings you happiness

The radical feminist movement has damaged the morale of many women and in turn the damage they have done has convinced men to relinquish their Biblical authority in the home thereby setting them up for more damage and radically falling outside the call and ministry of what God intends for them as women.  

The Bible’s view of women
The bible pays respect to women and is far from demeaning or belittling women.
1. Like men,  women bear the stamp of God’s own image Gen 1:27 Gen 5: 1-2
2. Wives are seen as respected partners and cherished companions to their husbands not as slaves Gen 2:20-24 Prov 19:14
3. God commanded children to honor both father and mother Ex 20:12 which Is a revolutionary concept in the time when most cultures were dominated by men and household were ruled by men while women were regarded as lesser creatures.
4. Women are by no means marginalized or relegated to a second class status Gal 3:28
5. The Bible acknowledges and celebrates the priceless value of a virtuous woman Prov 31
6. Marriage is seen as a joint inheritance (1 Peter 3:7)and parenthood as a partnership where both father and mother are to be revered and obeyed by the children Lev 19:3
7. In proverbs (Proverbs 8) wisdom is personified as a woman and the New Testament church is likewise represented as a woman- the bride of Christ

God's design for wives/mothers

1. Designed to love:   God is a Trinity. He is a relational being and He designed us for relationships.
Every woman has been designed by God to love- because women are very relational and emotional beings and so much more the woman who is a new creation and is in God.  Thus when God instituted marriage and family- the virtue of love became an intrinsic part of its design.  He even gave us a blueprint of how we can love so evidently seen in I Cor 13: 4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

2. Designed to be a helper. Genesis 2:18 "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him"
The very first thing the Bible teaches concerning the role of a wife is that she is to be her husband's helper. This word helper means one who is sent to support and aid another. From the beginning, God knew that man alone was incomplete in his abilities to parent and raise a family.
This role as your husband's helper however does not mean that you are inferior to him. The Scripture reveals that God is our "Helper" and has sent "another Helper" in the person of the Holy Spirit to abide with us forever  (John 14:16  And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever). Obviously, God isn't inferior to man simply because He wants to help us. Therefore, neither should you consider your position as helper degrading to your person in any way.

3. Designed to be submissive: Eph 5:22-24 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything

• Submission should never be considered a word that denotes inferiority or a position that is contemptible.
• Submission is something that we all have to learn in every aspect of our lives- submit to laws, government, employers, and doctors.  True biblical submission in the home will bring harmony and health to your marriage. Consider the example of Christ. Paul the Apostle declared that Jesus was "equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a servant, humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death" (Phil. 2:6-8). Jesus obviously did not consider submission to the Father's will as a position of lesser value, and neither should you as you submit to your husband. You can be equal to your husband and in submission to him at the same time.

What submission is not?

•  Submission does not mean that you are a second-class Christian or inferior to your husband in any way. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Gal. 3:28). The Apostle Peter even agreed that wives were equal to their husbands declaring them to be "heirs together of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:7). John MacArthur goes on to say, “God and Christ have roles of authority and submission, yet they are one in essence as God. So it is with husband and wife. Their roles differ, but in essential quality and value, they are equal.”

• Submission does not mean that you must be your husband's personal slave. You can't be an equal heir with your husband and be a slave at the same time.  Scripture does teach that all Christians are to "by love serve one another" (Gal. 5:13).. A truly biblical marriage is revealed when both husband and wife willingly serve each other without being commanded or forced. Love doesn't force but willingly gives.

What submission does mean.

• Submission is first an attitude of love, respect, and gentleness in the way you speak and act toward your husband. Paul's final encouragement to husbands and wives in Ephesians 5 He encourages both partners to loving submission when he said, "...let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (vs. 33). When you demonstrate love and respect toward your spouse in this manner, you comprehend the essence of what submission is all about.
• Submission also produces powerful action. Your submission is what renders a  blow to selfishness. Paul declared, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God" (Eph. 5:21 KJV). The word submit means to subdue. But, what are you to subdue? Self or selfishness is the greatest problem we face in loving and respecting others, especially a spouse. Submission is what destroys selfishness and enables you to give in a way that will bring harmony with your mate. learning to subdue selfishness through submission is the key to dealing with every evil habit within your marriage
• Submission is also when a wife allows the husband to take leadership in the relationship. When a woman submits unto her husband, she is actually submitting unto God (Ephesians 5:22).  A woman therefore does not submit because her husband deserves it in his own merit- she submits because she knows it is pleasing to her Lord.  There will be times when a woman needs to submit, and her husband does not deserve it from a human perspective.  But by divine right, God set the man as leader and a woman can trust that God is good.  She can also know that nothing escapes God’s notice, and a wicked man will be held accountable for his actions.

4. Designed to be a companion. Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant" (Mal. 2:14).
When God created Eve it was to solve the problem of Adam's aloneness by bringing him a companion for life.  
Companionship is the most fundamental purpose and goal of a  marriage relationship, and should, therefore, be the highest priority of your time together each day. God has called you to be a spiritual, emotional, intellectual, social, and sexual companion to your husband. In each of these areas God wants you to seek specific ways to develop companionship, friendship, helpfulness, understanding, and giving. As you love your husband in this manner you will naturally notice the deepening of your one-flesh relationship together. This is also where the joy and satisfaction of your relationship will be found, simply because you are fulfilling God's design and calling for you as a wife.

5. Designed to be virtuous: "Who can find a virtuous wife?" Then declares "For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safety trusts her" (Prov. 31:10,11).
The rest of Proverbs 31 shows the characteristics that made her a woman of strength and substance and how these actions greatly affected her marriage.

•  The strength of a virtuous wife is revealed in her character as well as in the service that she renders toward others.
• Personal reverence and fear of God is what creates the character strength and virtue in a woman’s life.  Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised" (Prov. 31:30).
• The fear of God is a necessary attitude required for any wife to have the strength of character that will enable her to lead a life pleasing to God. The fear of the Lord is what motivates us to "hate evil" and "perfect holiness" in  personal life (Prov. 8:13) (2 Cor. 7:1).

6. Be managers of the household Titus 2:3- 5 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed

1 Tim 5:14 14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

As a homemaker and follower of Christ, we are called to look after and manage our household. The house is our domain and we are put in charge of creating a God glorifying atmosphere. Proverbs 31 also makes it clear that the home is to be the woman’s primary area of influence and responsibility

7. Primary responsibility is to raise children: While husbands and fathers have been given primary responsibility for the leadership of their families including their children (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; I Tim. 3:4-5), wives and mothers are urged to be "workers at home" (Ti. 2:5), meaning managers of households.  Their home and their children are to be their priority.

• While fathers have the authority mothers have the influence. The significance of her meaning and the ultimate happiness of her existence in creation is found not in any other responsibility but from raising children. That God's intention and that’s the best way she contributes to the godliness of the society by raising God fearing seed.
• We live in a time when women’s employment outside the home is a rule rather than a exception.   God has endowed women with abilities, talents, intelligence to operate in the marketplace, and we do see lot of godly women in this role. However nurturing the home should be the primary responsibility. Career should be restricted to certain seasons in life and not become the primary life goal. The Bible does not prohibit a woman from holding a job outside of the home.  In fact, it appears that the Proverbs 31 Woman had her own business that took her away from the home during certain periods of time (31:24).  However, there should be a strong balance in managing the home and work where the home falls as a primary calling for the woman

Practical ways to live out God's design as a wife/ mother

1. The core of your life: Matthew 22:37 “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”
The core of your life is not serving your husband or your children- it is to be in submission to the Lord.  For you to be the kind of wife that God has designed you to be, you have to live your life in submission to what He wants for you.

2. Your worth comes from the Lord Proverbs 3:26 - For the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.
Self worth does not come from what you have established in your home or in your workplace or in the lives of your husband or children. Many wives and mothers lament about their worth because of their current circumstances in their marriage or some instances in their past. They beat themselves to believe they are worthless and liken themselves to doormats.  One of the reasons is that they have not realized their actual worth lies in what God has spoken about them.
Women may see their paychecks as representing independence and achievement. Paycheck can also become a symbol of self-worth, the downside being the exchange for time formerly allotted to work for the family.  

 A wife is portrayed in Scripture far from being worthless, but compared to the greatest inheritance that could be given by man. "Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord" (Prov. 19:14).

3. Complement your husband: "Two are better than one...woe to him who is alone" (Ecc. 4:9.10).
To fulfill God's design for you as a wife will entail understanding where and how you can complement to your husband. To determine this, you must find out where your husband needs help, support, or your team effort. Finding this need and meeting it is fundamental to experiencing the satisfaction God intends for you as a wife. This need will most likely change from day to day, but God wants to give you eyes to see the need and a heart to fulfill it.

4. Living in understanding: but a prudent wife is from the Lord" (Prov. 19:14).
God commands husbands to dwell with their spouses "with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel" (1 Peter 3:7). But, notice in the passage in Proverbs 19:14 that you a wife is required to be understanding too. These two verses balance each other and encourage both spouses to give one of the most essential qualities for a good marriage; understanding.

5. Subdue your desires to rule and control over your husband: "For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church" (Eph. 5:23).
God has given your husband the position as the head and leader within the family.  This means that he is the one who has the ultimate responsibility for your family before God. Just like there can be no two heads on a physical body – it leads to disharmony and confusion

6. Building your home Proverbs 14:1The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish one pulls it down with her hands.
Are we building up our house (family, husband, and children)? Or are we pulling them down with our words, our actions? Do we bad mouth our husbands to our friends? Or do we speak well of our husbands/ children. The way we speak of them will colour how we see them over time.
Eph 4:29 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

7. Be quick to forgive and quick to repent: Eph 4: 26-27 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.
As a wife/ mother, you have a choice to harbor offense and let your heart become hardened or you can remember to how patient and forgiving God is with you and forgive your husband and children .
The Bible says that "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6) It is so important in your relationship with your family and with God that you be willing to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness when you are wrong, or have acted in an unloving way.

Conclusion: We may be in different seasons of our marriage & family- instead of you attempting or wishing to change those around you God is looking to pour His generous grace into your situation just as God has promised that He is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have abundance for every good work (2 Cor 9:8). Look to God because His grace will meet you at your point of need. Rest in His assurance while He works in your marriage and family.